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Angst-Ridden Souls

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Beautiful Mutilation (xpost) [18 Apr 2005|09:23pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Pain is Art
My scars tell a story,
My blood sings a song.
My skin is the canvas,
My life is painted on.
These cuts hold the secrets,
That I don’t wanna tell.
This razor marks the pain,
That I hide inside so well.

Self mutilation some called it,
Others self harm,
But how could it be mutilation,
When it was so beautiful,
So perfect.
And how could it be harmful,
When it was so freeing.
Feel the bliss of escape,
When the darkness is so overwhelming.

Bring the knife,
Hand quivering,
Over and over,
Until the panic slowly edges away.
No one notices the angry red gashes and white scars,
No one cares.

The quickest and easiest way to move forward,
From the pain,
The sadness,
And the intense panic.
Already suffering,
Without the release,
Feeling the comfort of the cool metal.
Overwhelmed by the reassurance the object seems to give.

Each scar has a meaning,
A reason for being there,
But how did it come to this?
No one knew.
How had it come to this?

In the Black of Night

[13 Mar 2005|04:34pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

What ever happened to my misplaced angst.
My self deprecating woes.
Expressed on paper.
Expressed on the screen.
Whatever happened to you?

Did our community die so soon after it was birthed from are blackened minds?

In the Black of Night

[11 Jan 2004|11:39pm]

Goth Barbie! Or a shady facsimile thereof...
Felicitations! You're goth Barbie! ...
Unfortunately we didn't have a very
goth-looking Barbie, so you get this nice
jungle scene instead. Isn't that wonderful?
^^; You're probably just angry at something, or
maybe you really are a goth, to which I reply
'more power to you!' Goths are shibby, even if
they are all broody all the time.

Which slightly offensive random Barbie stereotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
1 Tear In the Black of Night

[02 Dec 2003|03:32am]

ah, your abundance leaves me in question.

and so i wave you away because your beauty has left only contempt.

your complications are difficult.

and you suck for that.
1 Tear In the Black of Night

My Tears Spring Fresh [29 Oct 2003|12:22pm]

[ mood | pessimistic ]

All copyright, me, xxcaedmonxx

I once fell in love
I say once because i never fell out
Beaten down again
Abused once more by her
I was still there
Abandoned I remained
A kiss we once had thats now only a memory
Dreams of you haunting my sleep
Misplaced hope for a future
Scars and tears
Heartache and fears
A life held captive by you

walking through like alone
an empty existence
defined by my conquests
When happiness would have come
From lives I've never touched
And Journies I should have skipped
A fact I shoould have known

We gather today, with the disenchantment of youth
To here commence under the clouds a lost congregation.
To some I am a student, a life long title I confess.
To some I am a dreamer, the lost one among us.
But throughout my education, my time of regurgitation, I have grown,
changed for the other.
And now listen closely, heed my words,
We alone hold the match to guide us;
To shake off the lies, to determine a truth,
Down a path that lies open before us
And fail or succeed it will burn out.
But what memories will we leave behind?

In the Black of Night

Angst, Depression, and Hurt Starts Young [29 Oct 2003|12:12pm]

[ mood | sore ]

Begotten from fearlesparanoia, and as she said, a 12 year old wrote this.

Wilted Rose ( Very Sad Story)

Angie was a 12 year old wonder. She was always getting good grades and main parts in her play. Her parents were extremly proud of her and bragged to their friends. But Angie only did this for her parents. She had no friends and even her teachers thought she was annoying by answering every question asked. Everyday she came home crying. Her parents, so full of themselves, didn't notice her daily afternoon bawling. Sitting in her room one day, Angie started to think about committing suicide. She had never thought about killing herself before. She had over heard her classmates talking about a man who took his own life. But Angie had never really thought about it well. She sat there thinking about taking her own life and just starting a new life. She had always believed that you could have another chance at living. Now that she was older, things started to become more and more realistic.Finally it was time to go to bed. The next day at school people were coming up to her asking her what was wrong. Even her enemys were afraid something was going on. She didn't raise her hand in class. She didn't eat her favorite sandwich, peanut butter and jelly. This went on for a week. Her grades dropped. Her parents were mad. Instead of bragging to their friends, their friends were bragging to them about their children getting high grades. Her teacher told everyone to write a report on something interesting they have heard on the news. Angie handed her assignment a week early so it was read outloud. She wrote about committing suicide by stuffing rags in cracks in the car and killing yourself with carbon dioxide. To conclude her essay she told the class she wonders what it feels like and hopes to try it one day. She handed out rags that she called her "own Death Rags". This scared everyone. Her parents got a call from the princibal later that day telling them about the essay on death. Her parents were furious. Their perfect little daughter was turning into a nightmare. They couldn't stand the humiliation. That night they beckoned her into their room. Her father took a club and beat her to death. Her mother drove her to a nearby park. Then they called the police saying their little girl was missing. Five days later her brutely beaten body was found. The murderer was never found. But you know who it is don't you.

Melissa Buckman

In the Black of Night

Scribed in Blood [29 Oct 2003|01:19am]

[ mood | Downcast ]

How did this community die so quickly?

Oh, yea. That's right. It's us we're talking about here.

18 Tears In the Black of Night

Real Results [14 Oct 2003|10:29pm]

[ mood | Misanthropic ]

BOOYAH, mudafucka. None of this blue shit.

Info Black
Your Heart is Black

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

That's how it's done.

In the Black of Night

[14 Oct 2003|09:09pm]

Welcome to the eternal midnight;
sunshine never splashes accross your face,
warm breezes never ruffle your hair,
and you never wake up from the nightmares.
There are no birds singing in the bare tree limbs;
only the skeletons escaping your closet,
your worst fears sneaking up behind you,
and you've dragged yourself to a dead end.
In the Black of Night

My Heart is... [14 Oct 2003|05:19pm]

[ mood | angsty ]

Blue info
Your Heart is Blue

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

In the Black of Night

[27 Sep 2003|02:45pm]

Bury me beneath the willow.
She weeps in solitude,
Standing above the scorched field
Housing no nests
or pocket-knife sentiments.
I sat under her limbs
in protection from the sun.
She stands her ground,
Bowing and groaning to the elements.
Weeping in solitude,
She will watch over me
And no longer be alone
In the Black of Night

because thats how it goes [26 Sep 2003|01:06pm]

<td bgcolor="#000000">Your LJ username</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your real name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your sex</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your last words will be...</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">"LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED" </td></tr>
What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

so liberating and yet so predictable
2 Tears In the Black of Night

The Day of Your Atonement is Due [26 Sep 2003|11:26am]

[ mood | Amused (But angsty-ly so). ]

I thought this was deliciously angst-ridden. How tragically untrue.

<td bgcolor="#000000">Your LJ username</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your real name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your sex</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your last words will be...</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">"i hate you so much..." </td></tr>
What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Created with quill18's MemeGen!
2 Tears In the Black of Night

[25 Sep 2003|12:01am]

[ mood | lonely ]

a dimly lit room
with ugly shag carpeting
and peeling wallpaper
crooked paintings
and a stopped clock
holds prisoner
the saddest girl
hiding from the sunshine
and avoiding the moonlite
living in the shadows
of what was once her smile

3 Tears In the Black of Night

[19 Sep 2003|06:02pm]

[ mood | blank ]

Today my droogs, rain fell like bitter tears from a tormented soul. Rain fell, soaking a world that is so alone. I wept along, sharing my agony, my loneliness, my misery with a dieing soul.

1 Tear In the Black of Night

on what happens when you leave the water running [17 Sep 2003|02:32am]

i'm left with nothin else to stand up on
and you sit there and u stare at me
and what the fuck would u expect

im gasping for air
and reaching out to grap things i just cant seem to hold
lest they slip right back out through my fingers
it's a silent gasp when u get stabbed
you feel it penetrate
but hold still maybe it wont hurt it all
except it does
1 Tear In the Black of Night

On Thorns and the Luna [17 Sep 2003|12:43am]

[ mood | disappointed ]

Woe, brothers! Woe.

My companion in distress weeps tears of ice, clutching onto her innocence by a thread. Perverted members of the opposite sex, I detest you with a wild, vehement abandon. You've left my confidant stripped and bleeding in the cold, black rain.

I stab. I stab until I can feel the warmth of your crimson ooze all over my frigid fingers. I tear at your organs of filth; I force your odious intestines down your putrid throat. Perhaps that will make you think twice before you lay another calloused finger on her pale, perverted flesh.

There is more, brothers!

Of course it is the same, vile monotony of everyday life. My heart- still a frozen, black, decaying lump of flesh in my chest. What is its purpose, I scream against the wind of my soul. WHAT IS ITS PURPOSE? IS IT TO DAMN ME ETERNALLY?

Yes, it is, brothers. No amount of the pathetic rivulets that run forlornly down my worn face could ever make right this futile situation.
I ache for stolen blood and whispered threat. I ache for angels of night to assuage my sorrow.

Oh, moonless night, I yearn for thine silvery light.
Make right my vapid life.

In the Black of Night

The Beginning of the End... [14 Sep 2003|05:10pm]

[ mood | blah ]

Ah my friends...ah my brothers and sisters in misery. This wretched world has brought us together. Hear we create for you a colony of angst-ridden souls surrounded by a sea of misery. Our lives...meaningless. Our souls...blackened. Our hearts...decayed. Welcome and lament my brethren. Welcome to the end.

2 Tears In the Black of Night

[14 Sep 2003|04:38pm]

hi i'm kris and personally i like to lie on the floor lifeless pondering over the meaning of the world.

who are you you whore
go around
infiltrate his soul, steal his life
pack up your things and pummel me to the ground
fuck the world cuz you werent important enough

and just lie there letting yourself go
cuz theres just nothing else u can do
well that sucks
2 Tears In the Black of Night

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